Gavel Gamut: Step 3 — Pre-pre-trial meeting

If you had a serious medical problem, your first step would, or should, be to consult your family physician. If your computer revolts against you, your first step should be to consult an information technology expert (or, perhaps, one of your teenagers).
And, if you have a serious legal problem, your first step should be to consult your family attorney.
Last week we were discussing the procedure one must follow to assert a new claim in post-dissolution or post paternity matters. Step One should be: call your lawyer. Step Two is the requirement that an attempt to resolve the situation be made within thirty days prior to filing the action.
Step Three is to meet with one’s exspouse or the other parent of one’s children in an informal Pre-pre-trial Conference. This meeting can take place at the courthouse, an attorney’s office or any place that is mutually convenient.
At this Pre-pre-trial the parties and their lawyers can discuss any sticking points and seek common ground. Should there be any allegations of spousal or child abuse involved, safety arrangements can be made.
Although shows on television or movies might lead one to believe most domestic relation issues are only resolved with full blown court
fights, in fact, almost all of us are able to work through our difficulties without having to resort to legal proceedings.
We pick up the telephone or send notes to work around changes in schedules or to accommodate special family or school functions. Millions of these informal parenting type actions are engaged in every day between former lovers. Of course, from time to time we either don’t, won’t or can’t compromise without the help of the legal process.
Most parents love their children more than they resent dealing with the only person on earth they have to thank for giving them these blessings.
Therefore, with the right encouragement and opportunity, most people can set aside their feelings and discuss whatever problems need to be addressed.
As a percentage of total domestic relations cases filed very few ever need to return to court after the case has been originally completed. Most people either have little difficulty or whatever difficulties they have they work out on their own.
And with those families who do need to file a post-decree petition, virtually all of them, on a percentage basis, are settled without going to trial.
This is no surprise to judges and lawyers as about 96% of all cases that are filed in court are settled without trial.
By using Step Three parents can often resolve their conflicts quickly, inexpensively
and with a minimum of emotional upheaval to themselves and their children. Then they and their children can move forward.
Next week we can think about the next step: Mediation.